A new way of relating –  sacred self gravity edition

Have you ever asked yourself why you seek relationships? What is it that you truly want to get out of a connection? Most of us, I assume, hope that our relationships bring us happiness and a sense of ease. We want them to be sources of joy, comfort, and support.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

But what if relationships were not just about what they bring to us, but also about what they reveal within us? Through the SACRED SELF GRAVITY lens — an approach rooted in self-transparency and self-responsibility — we can see relationships as powerful mirrors. They reflect back to us our defense mechanisms, protective layers, and inner narratives, giving us the opportunity to witness ourselves more deeply.

This perspective can be especially valuable in relationships that challenge us. Instead of seeing difficulty as a sign that something is wrong, we can explore what it is inviting us to see.

Relationships as Mirrors

For example: Instead of walking away from a friendship just because communication feels difficult, what if we got curious? What if we asked ourselves:

• Why is this situation triggering me?
  Be honest with yourself! Don’t rush the introspection. Follow the threads you CAN access into your own depths – there might be more to it than the first answer!

• Which behaviors bring up a reaction in me—and why?
  Again, this is not to just legitimize your reactivity and taking the „easy way“ by blaming the other and their utterly intolerable behavior 😉 I KNOW, they are just mean 😀 But why is it actually affecting you this much? Which inner parts become apparent here?

When something stirs discomfort within us, it often points to an unhealed wound. Of course, we always have the option to retreat if a situation becomes too much. But if we can pause before reacting—if we can sit with what arises—there are profound insights to be discovered.
Also, very important at this point: THIS IS NOT TO INVALIDATE THOSE FEELINGS WITHIN YOU! They actually most likely stem from a wound. It is rather going beyond that identification and diving into deeper layers!

The Pearl within the Challenge

Speaking of diving deep – a couple of weeks ago I heard Jonathan Koe on the Healing the Spirit podcast talk about how pearls are formed. A pearl begins with an irritation—a grain of sand or a small wound inside the shell. Instead of rejecting it, the oyster envelops the wound with layers of nacre, ultimately transforming it into something of great beauty.

What if we approached our emotional triggers the same way? What if, instead of resisting or avoiding discomfort, we allowed it in—fully, consciously—so that it could become a source of wisdom and valor? So that we turned it into something of great beauty?

An Invitation to Explore

Next time you find yourself wishing that someone or something outside of you would change, pause. Instead of focusing on the external, turn inward:

• What does this moment reveal about me?
• Where is my power in this situation? (Spoiler alert: it is NOT in trying to change the other person 😉 )

This is an application example of SACRED SELF GRAVITY—a way of relating to life that transforms every experience into an opportunity for deeper self-awareness and empowerment. By recognizing that life isn’t happening to us but responding to us, we reclaim our influence over our own experience.

If you’re curious about this approach and want to explore it further, I’d love to support you on your journey. Let’s dive in together. 💛